Chrissy Teigen has explained why she made intimate pictures of the loss of her baby son public, saying “I knew I needed to know of this moment forever”.
The TV personality and cookbook author announced she and husband John Legend had lost their third child, a boy named Jack, shortly after his birth late last month.
Teigen, 34, has revealed in a candid new blog post that Jack was delivered at 20 weeks and said she asked for photographs of the tragic ordeal “no matter how uncomfortable it was” because “I just needed them”.
She wrote: “I explained to a very hesitant John that I needed them, and that I did NOT want to have to ever ask. That he just had to do it. He hated it. I could tell.
“It didn’t make sense to him at the time. But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle…”
The model also directly addressed critics of the pictures.
She wrote: “I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done.
“I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like.
“These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.”
Teigen, who had suffered heavy bleeding during her pregnancy, said she had spent a “couple nights” at the hospital when doctors told her it was time to say goodbye to Jack, warning she could die if the pregnancy continued.
Describing the moment, she said: “I cried a little at first, then went into full blown convulsions of snot and tears, my breath not able to catch up with my own incredibly deep sadness.
“Even as I write this now, I can feel the pain all over again. Oxygen was placed over my nose and mouth, and that was the first picture you saw. Utter and complete sadness.”
She said Jack’s ashes are in a small box, “waiting to be put into the soil of a tree in our new home”.
Teigen, who also shares daughter Luna, four, and Miles, two, with singer Legend, also thanked fans for their support, saying the “moments of kindness have been nothing short of beautiful”.